suffering

today as i watched news videos and read of the people and destruction from Hurricane Katrina i struggled with the feelings that come with observing human suffering that isn't personal to me. it is the easiest for me to watch horrified and yet untouched as the numbers and pictures scroll by. i know in my heart this can't be right...it can't be right to observe others suffering in this way and be so disconnected. As i try to imagine what it would be like to not only be struggling to survive at the moment, but then to look forward to the future that seems so bleak at present, especially for those people who have no savings or insurance settlements coming, i feel the hint of hopelessness that must be engulfing. When i encounter the tales of others sufferings, i immediately feel relief that I have been spared such suffering, then guilt that i am thinking of myself at such a moment..then i am thankful and grateful for each daily chore i do, this morning it was sweeping my sticky kitchen floor, something of which i am not often thankful for, but if you try to imagine getting your mind around not having a house, much less a floor at all...and i am not even speaking of the much, much greater losses in human life and health.

As I watched people stranded and angrily shouting that they were not getting food or water and noone seemed to care that there were full-term pregnant women and elderly people who needed medications, i identified with the desperation that comes when loved ones are in danger and when fear of the unknown is pressing. i feel the fear in the pit of my stomach although that is all i can feel of their suffering.

it isn't humanly possible to feel others suffering i suppose, and in the long-term not necessarily productive or helpful to attempt to stay in this frame of mind for long, yet somehow i want others suffering to mean something to me, to affect how i live in the end, to become more sensitive to what others are experiencing.

to see this suffering reminds me that there are many, many,places that have continuing suffering; the middle east, the war zones, somehow the stories quickly buzz by and they don't affect me in my comfortable life much on a daily basis. how quickly i distance myself emotionally from such stories of suffering so that i can navigate my own life. what can i do? it is easy for me to just feel sad and then take a deep breath and move on, never looking back, meanwhile the stories may slow down, but the suffering still continues.

Not just for the moment, but for my existence, Lord please let the suffering of others not be lost to me, soften my heart, show me where i am hard to the feelings and losses of others, let me be there for those who are suffering in my place, right beside me? let me live my own life as if it is a gift, and one which is to be used for Your glory and not my pleasure. Let me not be hard to any suffering, but instead may prayers to You flow readily and sincerely that Your power and mercy may be displayed among the sufferers. let me help in what way i can. let my life be a picture of your peace instead of fear and despair.

for those who are suffering all over, and in specific in New Orleans and the other southern areas affected, Lord please bring your peace to your people among those suffering and let them be a beacon of Your peace and love and hope to those around them. let those in leadership make wise decisions and please give strength and safety to those who are both waiting for relief and bringing it.

may the weight of the suffering that is not only obvious, but also hidden, and just as devastating, around us, be apparent to us and cause us to search our own hearts for compassion and love, the kind that causes us to reach out beyond ourselves. let me look outside my own small world and be sensitive and caring and let me teach this to my children. Above all let me portray to others the hope that Christ brings amongst suffering, and the redemption of brokenness that only His love can offer.