Back to the country

Ugh, it's been so long since I blogged that I don't know what to write. There are so many things I could write...so what DO I choose?? Lately I've realized that one of the reasons I'm so content here is perhaps that I am rediscovering my roots! I grew up in the country and never thought too much about it. I loved playing during my childhood, much of it spent outside, but like most people I thought others lifestyles were more romantic-living in the city- with neighborhood kids all around, wow, that must be soooo cool, concrete to ride my bike on, a street corner to sell lemonade at, etc. And I still have to admit, those things can be cool.

When I left home I didn't really have a second thought about moving to a city somewhere, I wanted to try it out. And I did, and I have, and I liked many things about living in a really big city and a really big town. Lots of good cultural things to do, kids activities galore, nice parks and recreational facilities, a few minutes to shopping you know what I mean. But,... I didn't realize until we moved here the element of stress that I was putting on myself trying to give my kids the childhood I had while living in town. It just doesn't work, and in place of all the outdoor exploring I did, I worked hard at replacing it with all kinds of value-added activities provided by the city and others. Don't get me wrong we all liked them alot, and had lots of fun, but they required planning and time on the calendar, competing with many other very good things that we had to do. I just wanted it all,(as usual with me), the good town life and the good country life all at once. Thankfully, mom and dad still live in the wonderful place I grew up in and my kids had many chances to experience life in the country, which they loved then and didn't ever want to leave, and they love here and Sage says he never wants to leave....sorry kiddo, I do eventually! :)

I just didn't know that I was carrying this burden of guilt around about such things! Kenji has wanted to move to the country for a long time and we looked for a house outside town when we moved to Columbia, but it just didn't seem practical then, and in our circumstances it worked out well the way we did it. I don't regret anything, don't get me wrong, God uses everything to teach us something and glorify Himself in that process I believe. It's just so revelatory to see something in hindsight!

It feels so right to see the boys playing, exploring and creating for whole days at a time, without my needing to create an environment for it to happen within. Besides the fact that our relationships have some space....:) to grow...I revel in sharing the growth of the plants-weeds, vegetables, trees, whatever with them, (thankful more than ever for the internet to look things up on!), and the sheer delights of nature in all of it's five splendid senses full. They see it, they understand the teary-eyed wonder of it all, I see it when they yell at me to look at the bootiful sunset and to come quick and see the butterfly or catch their breath at the sight of a ripe strawberry. Mmmm, can't you just taste it! (Well, sorry, actually, Lucas just ate them all...that turkey!) It just clicked somewhere deep inside me and seems to be part of the reason I am chilled out more than usual for me.

I never thought I would ever be one of those back to the earth types, believe you me, that was just too wierd for me, a little over the top if you know what I mean, and anyway, it sounds like way toooo much work! Yes, Sage, your mom can be lazy too.... these days I can see it clearly in my mind's eye- goats, chickens, but, wait,it stops right there, noone better say anything about barefoot and pregnant!

When I am walking back from the schoolbus stop after walking there with Sage in the mornings, I often pick wildflowers, and just gaze at the wheat and the sky and the mountains. It is a source of much pleasure for me to be able to be part of such a landscape. One of the things I said to Kenji before I left was, I wonder if it will affect me much to be in an environment with lots of natural beauty on a day to day basis. I had been longing for such, but wondered if even then I would be content, would I really even notice that it was there? It is not the source of my contentment, (that's the source of another blog....)and yet, it is very soul warming and inspiring.

I have seen many beautiful landscapes, however, this time I am taking part in working in the nature around me. That also, big surprise to me, is very satisfying. Honestly I never could see myself as a farmer's wife, wasn't too interested in weeding and getting dirty too often etc! Although I was very interested in the end product. Ask Kenji, he'll tell you I'm telling the truth about that, ie, watering etc:) SO I was a little nervous about this life,could I really do this farming thing? Come to find out, once I got started I'm growing to love it, the part I can do in the time I have. Learning new things is always exciting to me, when I have a safe place to learn.....hmmm, is that true for all of us I wonder, I'll have to meditate on that for homeschooling....Here is a safe place with gracious people all around to teach many things, not just about plants, but about life, and lots of chance to get experience.

So for those of you who've been living the country life all along, take a new look around you, it's pretty cool, huh:).